This blog started life as an episode of my podcast, Unfrazzle. You can listen here if you prefer (6 minutes 13 seconds).
Today I want you to take a moment to think about the rules you’ve set yourself, whether consciously or not, and whether or not they’re still working for you.
Let me give you a few quick examples of what I mean.
The rule that outlived its usefulness
I spent YEARS thinking that it was a bad idea to start the day by dealing with emails.
Thinking about it now, I can see that was a hangover from my last job, when my inbox was full of people who needed stuff from me. My inbox was a hellscape of questions, problems, 20 people hitting ‘reply all’ to say thank you, updates that weren’t relevant to my role, and new tasks that needed my attention. If I’d started my day with that, I’d have been forever pulled around by other people’s agenda, never getting to the things that mattered to me, and feeling completely out of control.
So I’d protect the start of the day to get something off my own list, before opening my email and seeing what on earth had been kicking off since I left the office the day before. (Actually, let’s be honest – since I’d checked my email before going to bed…because I was a ball of stress back then, and doing all the wrong things.)
All that to say, I’ve had a rule that I shouldn’t start my day by replying to emails for many, many years now.
Until I realised recently that’s not actually serving me any more. It worked beautifully for a long time. But now, my life and my work are very different. I don’t get emails that threaten to derail my day any more. My clients are all lovely. Nobody is demanding things from me.
And what I’ve noticed happening is that I glance at my email first thing to see what’s come in, but then I don’t deal with it there and then. Instead I start on the thing I want to be focused on that day. But then I get so engrossed in that thing or lose track of time and get pulled into my day, that I don’t always want to stop what I’m doing to reply to my emails. And then I get to the end of the day, I’m tired, and I still haven’t done it.
And that makes me feel bad. All day, those unanswered emails have been hanging over me. But because of my rule about not doing email first thing, I haven’t replied.
Ridiculous, isn’t it?! Especially because by keeping THAT rule, I was breaking another, clearly less important-to-me rule about not looking at my inbox if I’m not in a position to respond/take action.
So I’ve decided to put that rule in the bin. If I want to reply to emails first thing, I’m allowed.
The rule that protects what matters
Another example is my rule about keeping my Mondays free, so I can work on what’s important in my own business. I broke that rule recently – there must have been a good reason, but I can’t remember what it was – by running a half-day planning workshop on a Monday morning. I’m not used to needing to show up like that at the start of the week, and honestly? It threw me a little! The workshop was great, so that wasn’t a problem at all. But I didn’t have my usual gentle entry into the week, and because I’m such a creature of habit, I spent the rest of the week confused about what day it was!
So by breaking that rule, I was reminded why it’s important to me. I love having Mondays to myself. Which doesn’t mean I won’t ever book something in, but when I do it’ll be intentional (which the workshop was… I just can’t remember the logic behind it now!)
You’re allowed to work in the way that works for you
Here’s another quick example of a rule that works for me, but that I’m happy to break every now and then. I don’t usually turn on my laptop as soon as I roll out of bed. My first move most mornings is to do some yoga. Have breakfast with Tom. Have a shower and then settle down to work. However, I also go through phases where my sleep is a bit off, and I’m awake at 4.30am. On those days? I often climb under the duvet in the spare room, turn on my laptop and get a few hours of work done before yoga and breakfast. That way, if I hit the wall and need to rest later, I can.
Speaking of getting under the duvet – I worked with a client last year who realised she had a rule that said work had to be done at her desk. But she never felt inspired to create when sitting at her desk. You see the problem! After talking it through, she realised she feels most creative when she’s working from her bed. But she wasn’t letting herself do that, because that didn’t feel like something a successful business owner would do.
Once she scrapped the rule that she had to be sitting at her desk during working hours, her creative output went through the roof!
A quick check-in with your own rules
So. Take a moment to think about the rules you’ve set for yourself. Whether consciously or not, you chose them for a reason – that could be because they’re good for you, or they could be rules you think you SHOULD be following to be a serious business owner.
I’d love for you to do a quick check-in. Are your rules still working for you? Or is it time to change things up a bit?
As always, I hope that this helps and I look forward to seeing you soon.