Why you feel you're not successful (even when you are)

This blog started life as an episode of my podcast, Unfrazzle. You can listen here if you prefer (5 minutes 27 seconds).

When I quit my job, like so many people I just wanted to replace my salary.

I was removing myself from a work situation that no longer made me happy – in fact it was making me ill – and just wanted to create something on my own terms.

I was new to the world of self-employment and had no big dream of working from a beach or buying a yacht.

All I wanted was to maintain my lifestyle – which is not at all extravagant – and protect my peace.

So why, even though I’ve achieved that, do I still sometimes think I’m not successful?

I’ve hit my own metrics for what success looks like. I’ve done it.

So why are there times I don’t feel successful?

The trouble is, as soon as you enter the online business world, you’re told about all these opportunities to make a shed load of money. You’re told you should be seeing consistent £10k months, or you’re doing it wrong.

And much as I know that to be absolute nonsense, after 10 years of swimming around in those sorts of messages, on some level I’ve internalised it.

I don’t need £10k months. And I certainly don’t need the level of stress and complexity that’s needed to get there (don’t let anyone tell you it’s easy – it takes a ton of hard work, which is fine if that’s truly what you want. But it’s not for me.)

I already have what I need. And yet I feel I’m not fulfilling my potential. I should be earning more.

I’ve mulled this over a lot lately, and have come to realise that the disconnect has a lot to do with how impactful my work is. It’s changing people’s lives for the better. And there aren’t many people who do what I do. I KNOW there’s more potential for growth than I’ve experienced so far.

And for me, that’s the frustration. Not whether or not I have enough money to live a comfortable life, but whether I’m making enough difference.

I’m not going to lie, the income piece does come into it too. We can’t deny that the cost of living is going up. But it’s not just about that. It’s about impact too.

But whether we’re talking about income or impact, when you’re feeling the gap between where you are and where you think you should be, where does that end?

What needs to happen for me to feel I’m succeeding?

The goalposts keep shifting, don’t they?

We need to notice how far we’ve come

I don’t have an answer to any of this. I just noticed lately how much striving I’ve been doing, when actually I’ve already achieved what I set out to achieve. I’m already doing what I set out to do.

When I couldn’t grow beyond six members back in the early days of Make It Happen Club, I’d have been over the moon to know that more than 50 people would end up experiencing the magic for themselves.

I’ve done what I set out to do. I’ve been doing it successfully – making enough money – for ten years. And I’ve helped countless people get stuff done and feel better about themselves as they do.

That should be enough. But the marketing we’re subjected to as small business owners will have us believe that it isn’t.

As I said, I don’t have any solutions to share with you today. I’d just love for us all to notice how easy it is to internalise all those marketing messages that are telling us we should be earning a bazillion dollars a minute or we’re doing it wrong.

Maybe it’s because this is my 10th year in business and I’m in reflective mode. But I find it helps to look back at where I started and notice all the progress I’ve made.

And to keep reminding myself that even though the people who want to sell me something will keep telling me I should be more successful than I am, I am already successful.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop evolving and growing. But it means I get to do that without feeling a sense of lack or not enoughness.

Does any of this resonate for you? Do hop over to LinkedIn and share your thoughts with me there!

As always, I hope that this helps and look forward to seeing you again soon.