The real reason things aren’t getting done (and what to do about it)

“Right. It’s time to take this seriously. I’m going to write a new blog every week.”

Six months later …

“FFS. I’ve only managed to write four. Why can’t I just stick to the plan, and do what I said I was going to do?”

Always on the lookout for an opportunity to stick their oar in, your inner critic leaps up and joins in with the tirade: You’re utterly useless, you’ll never be able to run a successful business if you can’t even write one blog a week, why do you even bother trying???

Oof. That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?

The logical part of your brain knows that isn’t really true.

But the more you keep not doing the things you said you were going to do, the harder it is to brush those thoughts off.  

What if it IS true?

What if, actually, you ARE just a bit rubbish.

Let me stop you right there.

I’m not having that. Because you categorically are NOT rubbish. (I wrote a blog to tell you why, here.)

Want to know what really happened to make you feel so crappy?

You set an expectation you were never going to be able to meet.

Not because you’re an idiot.

But because you underestimated how long it would take.

That’s all.

And everyone does it. It’s not just you.

Now, you might come back at me with a counter-argument about how Ermintrude can write one blog a week, so why can’t you? AHA! Proof that you ARE in fact rubbish after all, right?

Wrong.

For you, my dear, are not Ermintrude.

You have no idea how much support Ermintrude has in her business and her life. How much time she spends on client delivery. How much other marketing and networking she’s doing compared to you. Ermintrude’s creativity works differently to yours. She can write one blog a week in a frenzy of inspiration. Your creativity needs more time to gather thoughts, form ideas and articulate them in a way that lands. And neither approach is right or wrong.

So, I say it again:

The reason you didn’t do the thing you wanted to do is because you underestimated how long it would take.

All you did was set an expectation for yourself that wasn’t realistic.

There really is no need to give yourself such a hard time.

That doesn’t mean you should accept it will always be that way, though. Far from it! There are some simple things you can do to make sure you’re not setting yourself up to fail.

So let’s take a quick look at the three main mistakes people make when it comes to this stuff…

Mistake Number One: Not looking at the bigger picture first

If you’re going around setting expectations for yourself willy nilly, without first thinking about what you’re actually trying to achieve in your business, chances are you’ll end up trying to do too much or prioritising the wrong things. For example, if your goal is to grow your email list so you have a bigger audience next time you launch, instead of writing one blog a week you might be better focusing your attention on pitching to be a guest on other people’s podcasts.

So take a moment to think about what you’re trying to achieve, and the things you need to prioritise to make that happen. Then check the expectations you’re setting for yourself are aligned with that. This is a great way of preventing yourself from taking on too much, making it easier to see what you might let go of (at least for now).

Mistake Number Two: Not considering how much time and energy you have available

When we’re feeling inspired – perhaps we just got home from an epic conference, or had a brilliant call in a community we’re part of – it’s easy to make grand sweeping statements about all the things you’re going to do. I’m going to start a podcast! Set myself up on Tiktok! Email my list every day! And I get it. Those things feel exciting. But when exactly are you going to do them?

By making those sorts of decisions WITHOUT first looking at your diary to see what’s already on your plate, you’re setting yourself up to fail before you even start. How will you write one blog a week if your diary is already full with client delivery, networking, showing up on socials, laundry and feeding the kids?

Before you make a commitment to do something new, look at your diary. Consider the time and energy you have available. If you’re already at capacity, what will you let go of to create space for the new thing?

Mistake Number Three: Using other people as a benchmark for how long something ‘should’ take

We’re all wired differently, and can never know what’s truly going on in someone else’s life and business. As the saying goes, don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Just because someone else can do something quickly and easily, doesn’t mean you should be able to follow suit (and if you can’t there’s something wrong with you).

So how about, instead of worrying about how long it takes other people to do things, you start paying attention to how long it takes YOU to do things. Then take that knowledge with you into your planning.

Hopefully by now you’re seeing that you’re not a failure just because something took longer than you thought it would.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You just got a bit overexcited and tried to do too much!

See what happens when you

• pause to remember what you’re trying to achieve first

• embrace your own natural pace, and create expectations that align with that

• check your capacity before deciding to commit to something new

I think you’ll find things feel a lot more easeful, and that pesky inner critic will have far less to shout at you about!

I can’t promise that you’ll always get it right. This is an art more than a science.

But you’ll be much less likely to underestimate how long it takes to get something done, and much more likely to be kind to yourself when things go awry. (Which they will. Because, human.)

As Naomi said after working in this way for a year,

“I now have a much kinder relationship with myself, I feel excited to write about what I have achieved each month, and I can look with kindness, not judgement (most of the time!) on what I didn’t get done, and work out what adjustments I need to make for the next month.”

If you’d like to experience that too, have a look at how Make It Happen Club can help you be more productive. When you join us, I’ll guide you through a planning process that works, meaning you’ll set yourself up for success every single month.

Have a read of this blog to find out how and why it works.